Shattered
by chronosXIIIkurosama
Summary: Izaya has been trying to hide the trauma of what happened to him behind his usual arrogant bravado. but when a certain monster of a certain city finds him on a rare night of weakness will he be able keep up the act or will the glass wall he built for himself be shattered? eventual Shizaya. rating may change later. REVISED AND BETTER THAN EVER!
1. Broken

A fluffy Shizaya fanficton that I came up with when I was bored

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_I never knew the world could be so cruel._

That sentence had been repeating itself in Izaya's head for the last two weeks. Ever since those demons had let him go, all he could think of was that hellish experience.

For what felt like the last century he had been standing in the alley behind one office building or another, letting tears slide one at a time down his cheeks as bits of the memories wormed their way to the forefront of his mind. It hadn't been a nightmare.

It had been real. The scars covering his slender body were proof enough of that.

But more convincing than this was the memory itself, burned into the hard-drive that was his brain.

**Flashback**

_the two men had strapped Izaya down to a metal operating table with a blindfold on. They had told him absolutely nothing of where he was but from the reek of medical supplies he could guess; a warehouse. An old medical storehouse to be exact. _

_Footsteps sounded just off to his right and the next second he heard excited voices but didn't know what they were saying because they were whispering. There was a sharp _shing _and _hiss _and then a truly horrible sensation ripped through him._

_For the whole time he had been lying there his skin had been cold, but as soon as the knife was pressed to it it began to burn worse than liquid nitrogen. So the hissing he had heard was the knife being heated up. The heat already made the pain mind-numbing but when they dug the blade into his soft flesh forcefully but slowly, he did something he hadn't done in a while. He screamed, the volume and length of the sound ripping his throat raw._

_After a few hours of the knife torture they left him alone in a cell with a heavy bronze collar around his neck. Just as he was getting bored a man came into the cell holding a leather belt. Before he could react the man tied Izaya's hands behind his back and forced his lips down on his. _

_Immediately Izaya's eyes widened and he tried to force the man away but he held him down as he struggled against the iron grip. While their lips were mashed together Izaya could feel the man's lips making a strange shape. He was smirking. After about a minute of this the man moved his hand lower on him and began to unbutton his jeans to pull out his-_

Izaya gasped as the memories flooded back into the front of his brain, surprised at himself to feel hot tears streaming even faster down his face.

_I need to get home_. He pulled up his hood and started down the street towards his apartment. For the first half of the journey nobody crossed his path or called out to him. Not that anyone would. A small flicker of hope entered his chest and his pace increased. That is until . . .

"heeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyy, Izaya-kuuuuuuuuuuun~" he would recognize the voice anywhere. Hurriedly wiping his still-glistening eyes on his jacket sleeve Izaya turned to face Shizuo standing right behind him.

"ah I was wondering when you would finally sniff me out again Shizu-chan." He smirked at him in his usual way but something was different today. It felt forced, painful almost. And his voice trembled slightly. _Dammit this is no time for weakness. _Shizuo seemed to notice something was wrong. In a totally out of character moment he approached the info broker slowly and tilted his head.

"What's up?" His voice was gentle and concerned nothing like it usually was. It was so different from the voice of those men in his memories that he felt his eyes tearing up again. _no. I will _not _cry in front of Shizu-chan._

"Izaya?" the broker glanced up at Shizuo's face to see that his eyes were, for the moment, not full of wrath and hatred but with concern. Against his will even more vivid memories started to replay themselves over and over again, he remembered how cold the knife was, how unbearable the contrasting heat, and how it had felt like his insides were being ripped apart every time the man in the cell had-

"STOP IT!" the scream had left his mouth without him meaning it to. Shizuo blinked obviously surprised. But Izaya recovered from the little screw-up quick the smirk back on his face though not as strong as his first one.

"Flea?" Shizuo's voice wasn't like anything Izaya had heard it as before. Instead of it being full of rage and hatred it was soft in concern. And when Izaya looked into his face his eyes were full of that same gentleness his voice held.

And with that one look, what remained of Izaya's pride and false bravado shattered. The smirk slid off his face like warm butter and the tears that were still stinging his vision once again spilled over as he threaded his arms around the monster of Ikebukuro and began sobbing into his chest.

"hey, flea, what are you-" the ex-bartender stopped protesting when he felt that Izaya was trembling.

"i-i'm . . . s-so scared . . . Shizuo . . ." Shizuo faltered at the address the flea used. Not the mocking 'Shizu-chan' that he usually used, but his actual name.

So instead he pulled his rival closer into a careful hug and began to gently stroke the raven-black hair. Izaya tensed at first but then relaxed into the embrace. After a little while he snuggled deeper into Shizuo's chest. He was still crying, though not as much.

It took him a while but he realized that they had slid down the wall to sit on the ground. It had begun to rain but the overhanging canopy-like blankets kept them dry. Eventually the exhaustion of fear and crying caught up with Izaya's body. His eyelids drooped shut and he was soon lulled to sleep by the warmth coming off of Shizuo's body and his steady, soothings heartbeat.

* * *

After some time just sitting there Shizuo thought it was high time to move out of the alleyway, but he couldn't wake the flea. He noticed then that even though the broker was asleep he hadn't stopped shivering. If anything, it had gotten a lot more violent.

Deeply regretting his actions as he carried them out he placed a gentle kiss on his forehead. He was surprised at what he found out.

The flea had a fever.

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please make sure to rate anad review! no flames!


	2. Cute Face

**4 whole reviews! i-i'm so happy . . .**

**here's the new chapter for all a you's guys! sooooorrrryyyyyyy it took so long but i had a lot going on. anyway, here's the chapter!**

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Impossible. The flea, the guy who could withstand any disease and every virus known to man had a fever.

In another moment of madness Shizuo had hauled the flea to his apartment and put him in his somewhat small bed to sleep. Or at least tried to put him down in the bed because the flea had his arms wrapped so tightly around him that it was like trying to pry a clam open with a toothpick. He would've gotten him off any other time no problem but he didn't want to wake him.

After a few more futile attempts he gave up and resigned to curl up next to the flea. _Please please please wake up soon._ The monster stared intently at the info brokers face willing the eyes to open right now. But after a few minutes nothing happened. Shizuo swore under his breath at the flea torturing him with the close contact. For some reason, he was really uncomfortable with it.

His musings were cut off when the flea gave a gigantic shudder that broke into smaller tremors. At first Shizuo thought he had finally woken up and was just messing with him but then he saw that not only was he was shivering more violently than before but his teeth were chattering.

Shizuo grabbed the blanket with his free hand and covered the both of them with it. It was big and fluffy but didn't seem to do the trick. The broker was still shaking like a leaf.

Realizing what he had to do Shizuo snorted in defeat and pressed himself closer to Izaya so he was wrapped around the monster like one of those full-body pillows. It was disturbing to Shizuo how their bodies fit together like two pieces of a puzzle.

As if he could hear the monsters thoughts the broker unconsciously snuggled deeper into his chest. Shizuo leaned closer. The flea was murmuring something . . .

the monsters eyes widened when he realized just what it was he was saying

"Sh . . .Shizu . . . chan . . ."

Izaya's POV

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I didn't know precisely but I could guess it was at least a few hours before my body decided to let me wake up.

My eyelids flickered open and the first thing I noticed were the beads of liquid on my forehead so I raised a hand to it and scowled inwardly. My fever had spiked again. I thought this was gone for good!

But the thing that really caught my attention was how comfortable and warm I was. Normally my bed never made me feel like this. Maybe I had gotten a new blanket and just didn't remember.

So I turned my head as best I could to look at my 'blanket' and nearly jumped out of my skin. Curled around my entire body with his arms holding me to his chest was the monster of Ikebukuro himself.

Blinking several times in rapid succession I looked around the room a bit more and saw it was a bit smaller and simpler than my own. So I was in Shizu-chan's apartment was I?

For a few more seconds I just lay there and then I elbowed him in the chest or at least tried to it turned out more of a poke. I seemed really weak for some reason.

Though it did seem to do the trick. Shizu-chan shifted and blinked a few times before his eyes widened and he jerked away from me.

"ah . . . y-you're awake n-now . . . g-good, that was getting awkward . . ."

I noticed the grammar he used in his sentence and raised my eyebrows at him. "it was GETTING awkward?"

and just like the the snarl was back on his face.

"i didn't HAVE to bring you back here ya know! I colud have just LEFT you there!"

"ah, but you would never do that to me would ya Shizu-chan?" i gave him a pouty look that i knew he hated and sure enough his scowl deepened.

I rose to my feet smirking but almost immediately fell back on the bed my whole body aching and head spinning. So that's why Shizu-chan brought me back here. I was really really really really sick I think sicker than I have been in a long time. and Shizu-chan . . . he had brought me here instead of leaving me?

The monster had . . . Shizu-chan had . . . been worried about me? A tingly warmth spread through my body and most of it rushed to my face.

It must have turned a little red because the ex-bartender dropped his tough act and raised a hand to feel my forehead. "is your fever back again? I didnt give you any medicine so-" he faltered

when I stood on tiptoe and flicked him on the forehead.

"hey, what was that for?!"

but then he shut up for the third time in the last half hour. I wonder why.

Shizuo's POV

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the flea had just made a joke. He had taunted me even though I had bothered to carry him up here instead of leaving to the gangs on the streets. My mistake. And then after I tried to feel if he had a fever he had looked at me in a weird way and then FLICKED ME in the FOREHEAD! what the fuck is up with that?!

But then I saw the fleas face and every thought of yelling vanished on the spot. His eyes were focused on the floor with a soft look in them and a light blush tinted his cheeks. I dont even know if he was aware of it but that face was just SO CUTE and it just screamed one thing

_thank you_

so instead of yelling like I usually would raised my hand again and ruffled the raven hair.

"you're welcome."

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**quick completely off-topic question: i'm probably gonna make a shugo chara/OHSHC crossover and i need some help deciding what the host's chara's are gonna be like. i would much appreciate it!**

**oh, and let me know if you want more fluff or some slash**

**please r&r and no flames! **


	3. Confessions

Kuro-san: Welcome one and all to the new chapter! i know its been a while and i'm really sorry! i've just been really busy! but to make up for it today we have a couple of special guests! the stars of this story, the conquerers of young girls hearts, the-

Shizuo: WE GET IT!

Kuro-san: EEP! *hides under table*

Izaya: aw dont be mean Shizu-chan we dont have to be here much longer we just have to do the disclaimer

Kuro-san: r-right . . . I-Izaya-san, Shizu-chan, please take it away

Both special guests: Kuro-san does not own Durarara or the characters

Shizuo: wait did you just call me SHIZU-CHAN?!

Kuro-san: *runs away screaming*

Izaya: *smirks* enjoy the chapter

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**Shizuo's POV**

This _goddamn flea _just _had _to be found by me

Just like the nickname I gave to him would suggest he was draining me dry of everything. He's only been here about six days and it was already torture

See, because i've never been able to hold down a job very long I didn't have a lot of money, and this _damn flea_ eats like a pig for someone his size! AND the cost of all the food was really starting to add up.

And when i say really i mean _really_. I pay less for _rent on my apartment!_ I mean seriously who the fuck eats that much?!

What's worse is that Izaya was actually _telling me what to do. _

Every single day was nearly the same argument, and yet I can't bring myself to throw him out. I wonder why? Maybe its because hes still sick? Anyway, the arguments, like I said, they're all very similar.

Just like today for example;

"If its really that big a deal to you then just get a job Shizu-chan!"

"Like I said before no!" Frustration bordering on rage boiled in the ex-bartenders reply to the already age-old feeling confrontation by the info broker.

_When is this guy gonna give it a rest this is the millionth time we've had this argument!_

"But _why not_? It'll get you more money _-"_

"I DON"T NEED MORE MONEY!"

"- and be an excuse to get away from me"

I opened my mouth again to say something like 'WELL THEN MAYBE I WILL GET A DAMN JOB' but the words just wouldn't come so instead I just stood there opening and closing my mouth like some fish out of water.

The flea gave me his trademark smirk and leaned forward to rest his chin on his palm.

"Good. So if there are no more objections to this brilliant little plan of mine -"

"No . . ." The reply was soft just below a whisper too low for even Izaya's ears to pick up. He sat forward and tilted his head slightly the smirk fading into a look of mild confusion.

"What did you just say?" Curiosity and impatience battled for dominance in his voice as he dragged out each and every syllable of his sentence.

"You heard me the first time, flea, I said no!"

_First he makes me look all sensitive and now hes pretending to be deaf?! Damn flea! What will he reduce me to next?! _

His current sort-of tenant still had his head tilted to the side like a kitten looking at a butterfly or a toy for the first time. It was kind of cute . . . wait did I just call my sworn enemy _cute?_ ***shudder*** _I really need to start getting more sleep . . ._

"Why did you say that?" Oh thats right the flea was still in the room. Still in a half-daze I blink a few times and look at him again.

"What?" _Wow great reply idiot. _He seems to be thinking the same thing because he rolls his eyes and asks again but slower which just serves to piss me off more.

"Why. Did. You. Say. No?" I swallowed hard but it did little to help my now dry throat which was dry because . . . well, because of the answer. But hey, you only live once right? So what the to my own discredit, the answer wasn't defiant and challenging like I hoped it would be so 1 point less for me!

"Because I don't want to be away from you . . ." And just like that it was like someone lifted an elephant herd off my chest.

* * *

**Izaya's POV**

It took me several seconds to register what he had said in my brain. I tried to accept it as the real thing i'd heard but my mind refused to.

Shizuo, monster of Ikebukuro and the man hell-bent on taking my life, didn't want to be away from me?!

Rationality caught up with me and then I figured it was because he could reach and kill me in less time if I was closer.

But then I looked into his face and saw buried deep beneath the anger genuine care and embarrassment. So when he had said that he had really meant . . .

A weird kind of warm tingle spread from my fingertips throughout the rest of my body and the next thing I knew something I thought would never _ever _happen happened.

Moving in an almost dreamlike way i leaned forward and firmly but gently put my hand on the back of his head pulling myself forward so my lips delicately pressed against his.

I could practically hear his eyes getting wider at the unexpected action, but I felt no push from his arms or words of protest form on his lips, which were surprisingly soft to me.

_His hair is soft too . . . _I found myself thinking this as my hand ran through the light golden took me a little while to realize that Shizu-chan was actually kissing back if not a little uncertainly.

After what felt like an eternity I pulled away, slightly surprised that he hadn't resisted or fought back and even responded a bit.

"Me neither, Shizu-chan"

I really love being intelligent, because you always find the true meaning behind everything

but then again, I guess this one was kind of blatantly obvious

oh well

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Kuro-san: *stares at page* that has to be the most cheesiest bullshit i ever typed in my whole life! that was the first kiss scene i ever wrote! It was sooo corny and lame!

Izaya: well you're not wrong . . .

Kuro-san: he you are supposed to support me!

Shizuo: *cuddles Izaya* so when will the interesting stuff happen . . ?

Izaya: Sh-Shizu-chan . . . *blushes*

Kuro-san: I WONT WRITE THAT KIND OF STUFF UNLESS PEOPLE WANT ME TO!

That aside, please r&r and no flames!

p.s it'll take me a little while for the next chapter just lettin' ya know!


	4. What happened to you?

Kuro-san : next chapter is UP and I am so sorry that it took so long! it's because _these two *_glares at Shizuo and Izaya* prevent me from working with their two dimensional personalities

Shizuo : says the person writing this story

Kuro-san : hey! *grrrrrr* I'll show you 2-d! it'll be your face soon!

Shizuo : you wanna try me?!

Izaya : *holding Shizuo back* please enjoy the new chapter

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**Shizuo's POV**

_'me neither Shizu-chan'_

those were the final words the flea had spoken to me before he had swayed slightly where he stood and crumpled to the ground fast asleep.

So being the generous host I am I carried the flea to the couch and covered him with one of my old blankets.

After that was out of the way I retreated to my room and shut the door. For a few seconds I just stood there; and then my fist shot out and connected hard with the wall in front of me creating a decent-sized hole.

dammit dammit dammit dammit! the flea was NOT supposed to say things like that and look cute or attractive while saying them!

He was supposed to be infuriating he was supposed to be the most hated (I assume) person in Ikebukuro! He was supposed to be my sworn enemy! he- wait, did I just call the flea _attractive?!_

Just to make sure I wasn't going crazy I replayed everything in my mental rant to myself and sure enough I _had _called him attractive. And if that wasn't enough I had called him _cute_.

I was not supposed to find the flea cute! Especially not _attractive. _Only someone who had serious mental issues would ever call someone like the flea _attractive. _There was no way I was drawn to the flea! I didn't like him!

I didn't like him I didn't like him I didn't like him . . .

. . .

dammit! Why did I have to like him?!

My other fist connected with the wall making an even larger hole than the first. This process went on for a while.

I kept beating at the wall venting my frustration of my current situation on it until it nearly reduced to rubble.

'_better to face it now rather than later'_ I forced myself to walk out to the living room where the flea was still curled up.

I have to admit, he was cute when he slept. His entire body and was was relaxed, his mouth slightly open and his slender chest steadily rising and falling with even breaths.

A question struck me as I was looking at him: why had he just up and collapsed like that? Placing my hand on his forehead I confirmed my suspicion, his fever had come back.

Then something completely unexpected happened; almost like he was responding to my touch the flea nestled closer to my hand a delicate smile on his usually smirking face.

And just like that any self-restraint I might have still had was gone. Getting down on my knees I leaned cautiously forward and, after what felt like an eternity, pressed my lips softly to his.

Here's something I wasn't expecting: they were soft and warm almost like what i'd imagine a girl's would be like. Not to mention he had an interesting taste to him which I found myself wanting more of so I deepened it ever so slightly

But that was going just a bit too far; I found that out the hard way. Because in the next second everything went wrong.

The flea's eyes fluttered slightly and then widened in surprise and fear. He pushed me away from him and darted to the corner of the room where he sat with his arms wrapped around his legs face buried in the crook of his knees, trembling.

Recovering from the initial shock I stood up and approached him slowly.

"Izaya, I-"

"stay away from me!" his voice surprised me because it wasn't his usual sneering voice but wild with terror. Of _me. _I tried again. "Izaya-"

"stay away! don't touch me!" next second I had a grip on his wrists and was slowly forcing his arms away from his face. But it was fairly difficult because the flea was struggling, writhing and twisting to get out of my grip.

"Stop! Stop it! Please stop it!" by this time tears were streaming down his face as his struggles became weaker and weaker.

"please . . . don't hurt me any more . . . I can't take it . . ."

"flea" Izaya's eyes flew open at the familiar nickname and looked into my face as if seeing me for the first time

"Shizu . . .chan . . ?" in a few seconds he had taken in our positions and seemed to understand. "Shizu-chan I . . ."

not meaning to be rude but needing to know I asked him the question that had been nagging at me from the very first day.

"what exactly happened to you?" as I had expected his body stiffened as he looked up at me with terrified eyes.

At first I thought he wouldn't tell me but then he took a cross legged position, took a long deep breath and looked straight at me.

"back about three weeks ago some guys I had managed to piss off somehow ganged up on me in the alley behind Russia Sushi. Everything after that is a blur the next thing I remember is waking up in a warehouse."

he paused and reluctantly pulled his shirt off exposing the milky torso now covered in scars that ranged from short but deep to long and deep. There was one in particular that ran from the collarbone to just above his belly button that was still slightly red which meant it was still healing. He was shaking again.

"Th-they tortured me, Shizu-chan, with knives and electricity a-and fire . . . and then they . . . they . . ."

more tears trickled down his face as he stood and slowly lowered his pants and underwear to the ground.

"wait what are you-" I stopped short at what he was showing me. All along his thighs were dark ugly bruises and equally dark half-moon shapes that I recognized as bite marks. But what I found most shocking was what they had done to his member.

All along the length there were deep scratch marks and crescent moon shapes where someone had obviously dug their nails in to the soft flesh.

"Th-they had someone who . . ." he took another shuddering breath and continued "t-they h-had someone . . . r-rape me . . ." the tears were flowing freely now as he once again sunk to his knees and began to sob. It made my heart ache to see the once sneering and teasing info broker to helpless and . . . broken.

So going with the instinct raging within me I sank to his level and hugged him close to my chest. After a little while I felt his arms gripping the back of my suit in desperation and absolute need.

"Shizu-chan" I could hear him even though he barely whispered my nickname.

"what is it?"

"I'm scared" a pause followed his statement, and then

"of what?" his grip tightened even more and I could feel the fabric starting to strain.

"that they'll find me, that they'll find me and hurt me again . . ."

"I won't let them" a soft gasp escaped his lips at the tone he must have heard in my voice: protective, fierce, enraged, but also gentle and soothing. Warm tears dropped onto my soldier one by one.

"Shizu-chan?"

"yes, flea?"

"there's something I realized that I haven't before, and honestly I feel stupid for not realizing sooner." my heart skipped a little at the flea's choice of words and the reality of just what kind of thing he was going to say to me right then and there.

"what is it?"

"I lo-"

his phone rang

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hahahahahahah cliffhangers! i am so evil! but please please please don't hate more this! no flames and be sure to r&r

could i please get like just 2 more reviews? i promise to continue! so please?


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